What If?

Big One asked if we could make popcorn today about 30 minutes before I usually pull out the dino shaped chicken nuggets and goldfish crackers cook a nutrition lunch from scratch. Initially, I said no but then decided why not? We have a stir crazy popcorn popper and he loves watching it. As we sat cuddling on the couch eating out popcorn, I started thinking about how my day would be different if I had gone back to work after Little One was born.

1. I would have showered by now.
2. I would be wearing something a little more stylish but not nearly as comfortable.
3. If work was anything like the last few months I was there, I would be trying to look busy by scrounging up any busy work possible. (Boring)
4. I would be staring at pictures of the kids instead of staring at (and cuddling) the real thing.
5. I wouldn't be stressed about our health insurance situation.
6. Big One would have social interaction with kids his own age. But he would throw huge fits every morning, insisting he wanted to stay home. Little One would be held and rocked by someone else. I would miss them even if the social interaction was good for them.
7. When I picked the kids up from daycare, I would hope to not see yet another sign disclosing a contagious disease that has infested the daycare. (The amount of time I spend googling the symptoms of random childhood illnesses has drastically decreased!)
8. I wouldn't have the freedom to schedule my day as I see fit.
   
9. I would have had to park at the top of the hill so I could even get to work. Then I would have had to drive on snowy streets that either aren't yet plowed or were plowed by someone who really didn't care if he did a good job or not. I hate driving in snow!
10. I wouldn't have to look around and see the mess that never disappears at our house!
11. I wouldn't be listening to Big One blowing air through the straw from his juice box even though I've asked him to stop no less than 10 times.
    
12. I would be listening to arrogant coworkers, some of whom actually clip their nails at their desks. Gross!
    

So what's the verdict? Where would I rather be? Right where I am, of course. That's not to say there aren't trade offs (see # 5 and 10). I've never questioned my decision. It felt right from the beginning (even when the kids are driving me nuts and I want to curl up in a ball under the covers). But I think no matter what decision you make in the stay at home/work at home/work outside the home dilemma, there are benefits and sacrifices.

And now my random thinking is done for the day.