One Year Ago...

Dear Little One,
One year ago, you graced us with your presence. I still remember so many of the details. How is it possible that it was one year ago?

I remember the contractions starting and not being concerned. Big One took FOREVER to join us. You weren't so patient. 5 hours from the first contraction to your birth.

I remember waiting for Grandpa & Grandma to get to our house to watch Big One. We watched one of those late night celebrity gossip shows as we waited. They kept talking about pregnant celebrities.

I remember running a red light on the way to the hospital. We stopped first. But it was 1am and no one was around. The light wasn't changing so we went.

I remember stopping on the steps of the hospital to breathe through a contraction. The security guard shooing us to the elevator. The secretary that took forever. The long wheelchair ride to my delivery room. I remember them wheeling me past several open rooms wondering why they wouldn't just stop at one.

I remember them telling me I was progressing quickly and may not have time for an epidural. I remember crying. Pleading. I got my way. It kicked in quickly. The anesthesiologist didn't think it would. He was wrong. I won.

I remember you having difficulty breathing. I held you for a minute. Off to the nursery. An hour of recovery for me before I could join you on the mother/baby floor.

I remember your Daddy going home after we were settled in the room. Then the doctor on call came to tell me that you were on your way to the NICU. That was not in the plans.

I remember crying. A lot. Feeling cheated that all the other moms had their babies in the room while I had to rely on others to wheel me up 2 floors to the NICU.

I remember the first time I saw you in the NICU. You were crying. I held out my fingers and told you mommy was here. You grabbed my fingers and stopped crying.



I remember the guilt I felt. Not being with you constantly. Being torn between you at the hospital and Big One at home. Wanting to pick you up and carry you out of the hospital. What did the doctors know? I wanted my baby.

Looking back, I realize how lucky we were. You only had to stay in the NICU 5 days. It was more precautionary than anything. We were blessed to bring home a healthy baby girl. I know not all families are so lucky.

With tears in my eyes, I want to be the first to wish you a Happy Birthday, my sweet little girl. I can't wait to snuggle with you when you wake (and wipe your runny nose, my little sickling!). I can't wait to help Big One decorate your birthday cake. I can't wait for that smile to flash across your face.


Happy Birthday, Little One! It has been one crazy year full of laughter, tears and memories. We love you more than words can express. You added a piece to the family that we never knew was missing!

Love,
Mommy

Wordless Wednesday: Sesame Street Live

100 Calorie Packs

Does anyone else see a major flaw in all of the 100 calorie packs that overrun the snack aisle? In theory, they are great. You can fulfill your snacking desires with only 100 calories. And there are so many possibilities. I can eat chocolate for only 100 calories? Count me in!

So you throw a few boxes in your cart, speed through the rest of the aisles, and rush home so you can dive into your new snacking friend. You put away the cold groceries so they don't melt and/or rot. You dig through the bags to find the 100 calorie packs.

And then you open the bag.

Is this some kind of sick joke? Did someone with willpower to spare think up the 100 calorie packs to torture the rest of us?

I bought the chocolate covered pretzels. I adore chocolate covered pretzels. And I adored the ones in the 100 calorie pack. All 10 of them. Tiny ones too. Not a full sized pretzel. If I had the willpower to eat 10 chocolate covered pretzels would I be buying 100 calorie packs? Would I be trying to lose 50 pounds?

I can eat one of my 100 calorie packs but I'm not satisfied. All I can think about is eating another one. I want more of those chocolaty, yummy pretzels. I could easily polish off the entire box in one sitting. Suddenly, I'm eating a 600 calorie pack, not a 100 calorie pack. (I haven't actually done this. But I did have 2 bags in one sitting.) I'm better off not buying them because once I start with the chocolate I don't want to stop. If I avoid it altogether, I'm much better off.

My theory is that the 100 calorie packs are a gimmick. If you ate such a small amount of most snacks you would probably only consume around 100 calories. These companies are using the health food/dieting/weight loss craze to their advantage to make money. But then again, I suppose every company who sells anything preys upon some weakness in its target audience.

From now on, I'm sticking to my Skinny Cow (or as Hubs calls them, Happy Cow... at least he didn't call me a happy cow!) ice cream treats. At least I can enjoy a full sized treat for 3 WW points!

Wordless Wednesday: Sleepy

For more Wordless Wednesday, go here, here or here.

What Is This Strange Fruit?

I'm on a healthy eating kick (more on that soon) and decided to try this quinoa recipe today. We headed to Super Target (my home away from home) to pick up limes. Big One easily spotted them and helped me place them in the bag.

Apparently, the cashier is not so good with his fruit identification. He picked up the bag of limes, turned them over a few times, and then said, "What are these?"

Seriously.

You've never seen a lime before?

Or you've seen it but you're struggling to come up with the word... for a lime?

I can only imagine the conversation he had with his wife when he got home.

"Honey, you'll never guess what I saw today. A lime. In real life. Right before my very eyes. It was sort of like those yellow fruits with the peel. What are they called again? Shoot. I always forget. Oh, lemons. That's right. Yeah, they're sort of like lemons except they're green. Can you believe it?"

I shouldn't make fun. I was just so amused by the fact that he asked me to identify a lime. I often get asked what my cilantro is when I buy it. I get that. Could be cilantro. Could be parsley. But a lime? That's a first! Fortunately, the grapefruit we picked out had a sticker on it or things really could have been confusing.

Just Right

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there! My day was great. Nothing too exciting. Just the way I like it. Lots of happiness and love as well as time spent with my family. That's always been my Mother's Day wish! I don't need a fancy gift. Just time with my family. And maybe a personal secretary since I forgot half the things I was supposed to bring to my parents' house. Including my Mom's gift that the kids and I made. And the camera. At least I remembered both children. Let's hope it never gets to the point of leaving children behind. I promised myself I'd be in bed 9 minutes ago so I will close with one last HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! It's a ridiculously difficult yet supremely rewarding job and I couldn't imagine my life any other way!

Stay Little

This is one of my favorite photos of Big One as a baby. One day after he was born. Snuggling on Mommy. I love this picture.

How is it possible that this is the same child who is now 3 1/2? Energetic. Telling stories. Laughing. Throwing temper tantrums. Hugging his Mommy.

Tonight I spent a little extra time with my big guy at bed time. We sang and cuddled. He ended up snuggling up with me similar to the photo above. As soon as he snuggled up to me, my mind instantly went to the photo.

I don't usually get sad about the kids getting older. I cherish the memories we have but I also love seeing their new tricks and all of the things they learn each day. But moments like tonight remind me just how fast they grow. I want to keep them little forever. I don't want them to outgrow their chubby little fingers. I don't want them to avoid my hugs in public because it's embarrassing. I don't want them to feel like they don't need Mommy to fix their boo boos. And I don't want to forget all of the little moments of their childhood. The emotions I feel. The laughs we share. Even the tears that are shed. I don't want to lose it.